We all need a safe place to share our emotions and experiences, whatever their nature. I know I have had many safe harbors in which to dock my ship and unload my burdens, doubts, fears, regrets, and anxieties. I am so thankful that my mentors would allow me their time and attention to help me sort out my feelings. Their grace helped me elevate my thinking, allowing me to honor others and make wiser choices. Not perfect choices, necessarily, but wiser choices!
Who has been that SAFE HARBOR for you in your life?
Reflecting upon the people who created a safe place for me and the techniques I use in my coaching business, these 3 ingredients will help you build a SAFE HARBOR for others so we can all help each other to Take Another Step.
- S.T.O.P. (Spend Time On People)
- Build a Trusting Relationship
- Conversations Solve Problems
1. S.T.O.P. (Spend Time On People)
Consider this from John Maxwell, “Relational skills are the most important abilities in leadership.” Connecting with others will help you identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence on them. The ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching a person’s fullest potential. By doing S.T.O.P.; you must learn to connect. Then, listen to find common ground, establish credibility, and make it personal. When your people know and feel that connecting to them is important to you, trust will be formed, and a sense of safety will appear to them then you can speak life into them.
2. Build a trusting relationship
Stephen Covey says that trust is the #1 human motivator, and I agree! Think about it. Can a leader that you do not trust motivate you? Of course not! So how do we build trust in our people? By connecting with them on a personal and professional level, believing in them, speaking words of life to them, accentuating the positives, listening to understand, not to reply, being with them through life’s challenges, being vulnerable, and fulfilling your commitments to them. Once they see and feel that they can trust you, then they will be liberated to have an open, candid conversation with you.
3. Conversations Solve Problems
We must STOP and get people to trust us. THEN we are able to have open, candid conversations. Our people must be able to unload their cargo with a competent, calm, wise mentor. We can speak life into them, encouraging, inspiring, and uplifting them all the way! If these honest and trust-based conversations do not occur, then the mentor will never see the authentic self–the true feelings and emotions that underlie behavior. The SAFE HARBOR allows for these conversations to take place.
Thought to consider:
- Correction without a relationship (No Safe Harbor) = Rebellion
- Correction with a relationship (Safe Harbor created) = DIRECTION!
Everyone’s purpose on earth is to ignite the good in one another. As Stephen Covey says; “to touch the soul of another person is like walking on holy ground”.
Let’s STOP, create some trust, and have a conversation so we can see if we can rebuild our SHIPS so they can go and fulfill their purpose out in the sea of life!
Love to hear who created a Safe Harbor for you that helped you overcome unnecessary bad habits to allow you to fulfill your life goals and dreams.
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